Tony Blairs Legacy: Volume 1 “The Olympics”

March 24, 2007

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Imagine if you will the following scenario. You’ve secured your next job but theres still a chance of nailing that big order, the one all your colleagues have been chasing. You know that when you you announce that you’re leaving that slimey Scot who slags you off behind your back will ooze his way into your chair. So lets leave a time bomb ticking, you know that order will bring in half a million quid, you also know it will end up costing 5 million quid, but you’ll be long gone, secure in the knowledge that you got the glory but left a mess. A great big steaming pile of shit for your slimey Scottish freind to clear up.

Welcome to the 2012 Olympics, perhaps the biggest pile of shit ever left for a colleague to clear up. (Ok I accept that maybe Chamberlain left Churchill a bigger steaming German turd to sort out but you get my point). You know that Tony Blair has only ever thought of Tony Blair but on this occasion I genuinely believe that he had Gordon uppermost in his thinking. “Right everything is fucked up, things haven’t only got better, but Gordon deserves something special. I know get Lord Seb on the phone I’ve got a plan” And so the Olympic bid swung into action, by some creative accounting, a suitable slum that needed “regenerating”, a few sporting icons blinded by Balir bullshit and the Spanish Olympic commitee chairman mistaking London for Paris and the bid was won.

We all sucked air through our teeth at £ 4 billion but it was the Olympics, the good old East End would have a fresh start, it was a chance for British kids to succeed and we beat the fucking French. (Sound of squealing breaks at this point)……………..

Cost: We now stand at £ 15 billion and rising, how can a two week sports event cost £ 15 billion. Where is the money coming from? Lottery, congestion charging, taxes, prostitution, the NHS, defence? 15 fucking billion pounds, have that Gordon ! You’d best start shovelling boy because it will end up nearer £ 30 billion, remember you heard it here first. The contractors will smell the panic as 2012 approaches and costs will spiral out of control. Gordon had better find an enormous khasi to flush this titanic sized floater away.

The East End: Yes it needed redevelopment but did it need the Olympics? No it did not, what happens when the party leaves town. It will be he biggest hangover of all time. Just look at Atlanta, Athens, Seoul, Moscow, Los Angeles they all took years to recover if they ever have. The only Olympic City to get away with it was Barcelona. Walthamstow is not Barcelona, there will not be endless tourists to visit when the last gold medal is handed out. There’s no Gaudi Cathedral in Leyton to bring in the punters, no Los Ramblers for the stag / hen weekenders and no Mediterranean Olympic harbour to attract the real money. Sorry Gordon there’s a great big skidmark that will not wash off however hard you scrub.

Give the kids a chance: What chance? What kids? Not kids that are educated in Blairs comprehensives, no competitive sport, playing fields sold off for immigrant housing, no after school activities, the nanny state, coaches scared of coaching because of paedophile paranoia. You wanker Blair you spend 10 years crucifying sport in this country then win the fucking Olympics AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

The Medal table: China 150 gold, USA 100 gold, Germany 50 gold, UK 1 gold won by a Somalian on a dodgy passport in the fucking 5 kilometre walk.

Two weeksof sport, 30 billion pounds, years of recovery, years of debt, a fucking olympic village in Walford. The most imaginative Eastenders writer couldn’t make it up. Surely Tony you could have just resigned and had dump in your office before you left for Gordon to find. This is almost criminal in it’s disregard of the consequences. Failing that you could have just sacked the Scottish Nationalist prick and saved us all the hassle.

Yours in sport you arsehole.

 

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