Human Resources: Is There A More Pointless Profession?

April 30, 2007


 Hands up who has a good word to say about “H R”. No-one, no didn’t think so. What is the fucking point of “H R”? I will continue to put “H R” in inverted commas because they are the type of people who do that thing with their index and middle finger every time they finish a “sentance”. They live their lives from the pages of the latest business gurus musings. “Oh right so you need to ditch your worst performing 10% every year to maintain a worker performance ratio of 3 to 1 for every new starter of indescriminate gender origins.” Well if it works for Herman Reichenbach III and his paper manufacturing empire in Boise, Idaho it’ll work for me. Bollocks, leave things alone, if it isn’t broken don’t try and fix it, if you don’t understand it don’t pretend you do then try and implement it. Appraisals, performance management…. for fucks sake, do I do my job properly? If the answers yes pay me and fuck off, if the answers no sack me and fuck off. What is “H R” for?

Do you have “H R”? If you do ask yourself this question. “Did I miss “H R” when we didn’t have it and has it made things better since we did? I will guess that you have answered “no” and “no”, if you answered “yes” and “yes” then you must work in “H fucking R”. Start a revolution tomorrow, ask your “H R ” manager for help, create a problem ask the what you should do about the voices in your head, make them earn their fucking money. They are supposed to help, get everyone in your office to see them tomorrow and demand an answer to some perceived wrong doing. Their heads will explode with the strain, they will try and find a similar case in one of their fucking handbooks. They won’t know what to do, run them out of your building and out of your lives forever.


3 Responses to “Human Resources: Is There A More Pointless Profession?”

  1. From my experience,

    staffed by rude and arrogant personnel,
    who believe rules do not apply to them

    so never follows any policies
    or employment legislation

    and will lie through their teeth to coverup.

  2. Lymond Says:

    I recommend the little book of management bollocks by Alistair Beaton. While written about management its the same ethos that governs “HR”. “HR” is made up of micromanaging megalomaniacs and are nothing more than a product of the nanny state.

    Thumbs up to this blog!

  3. Marvellous – sorry I haven’t come across your blog beforehand – have my own blog at

    Will probably reference yours next week from my blog – feel free to comment on the ‘grown-up bollocks’ there……..

    Have fun…….

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